First thing in the morning, before doing anything else, you must give Captain Jack and Dante their morning treats. Jack will jump up on the cart and meow and meow and STARE at you until you do so. Here is what Jack looks like when he wants his morning treats. He was staring at his Mommy in this picture, telepathically demanding the Temptations.
No matter what, always remember that the kitties are much cuter, smarter, sweeter, and just better than the doggies. Also remember that Dante HATES Beaux with a passion. Dante almost always considers plans to get rid of Beaux but sometimes Beaux has annoyed him to the point that Dante has had it. When this happens, Dante will stare at Beaux with the evil eye - when this happens you must put the dogs outside and placate Dante with treats and face rubbs to keep him from flying into a murderous rage. That stare looks like this:
Finally, and this is the really big one. Kitties must be obeyed at all times, no matter what!They are in charge, not you. You are simply their substitute human. If you do not follow this instruction, you will be hypnotized by Captain Jack. It is useless to resist, Jack is too good. If you see this look on Captain Jack's face, you will soon be cooking a chicken, baking a ham, harvesting the catnip, milking the cows, and anything else he wants (for an example of his power, just know that we entered Mommy into a contest dressed as a pig! And she smiled while doing so! Mwuhahahahahaha!!)
Do you kitties like our instructions? Should we add anything else? We think that we can get tons of attention and treats from Uncle Mark so we are kinda excited about it. Please know that we are thinking of you even if we are not commenting on your blogs. We need mommy's assistance for that so we shall have to wait til she gets home.
Miss Boo - please know that I am thinking of you always. I will miss seeing your lovely whiskers and will dream of your gorgeous black and white furrs until once again, I can see your beautiful face. You are in my thoughts and heart! ---Captain Jack
14 comments:
Those are good instructions. You'd better remind the substitute that he ought to verbally acknowledge your handsomeness and cleverness on a regular basis. Good luck, guys.
Your buddy, Jimmy Joe
P.S. Your momma looks really funny as a pig, hahahahaha!
We really think those instructions cover everything, specially the one about Temptations.
I hopes you have a good weekend with your Uncle!
Good list of instructions . . . I'm sure Miss Boo blushed when she read that last bit from you, Jack!
You got all the important stuff on your list. Your uncle has no excuses if he forgets something!
Enjoy your weekend...
Hehehe, we love when da nefew stay...we fool him into thinking dat our beans give us treats eleventy five times a day, dat Sadie must be brushed eleventy nine times a day and dat we are da bestest kitties on da planet and are allowed to do WHATEVER WE WANT...
Most excellent instructions!
Oh Capt'n Jack those were furry good instructions! I hope efurry things goes well over the weekend while your Momma is gone. Our Momma has a long weekend off...more time to spend with US! I will miss you terribly Jack, and I will thinking about you too.We'll have to figure out when we can teleport over and spend some time together.
Purrs
Miss Boo
I think these are good instructions. Don't forget on top of the pets, you must be complimented on your stunning good looks. Much cuter than woofies.
What was that momma? Oh mommy sayz she woofies are cute in a different way. Whatever.
I think I can feel Miss Boo blusing!
I like that you posted the instructions with pictures. Usually Meowmy write a 2 page single spaced letter to the Grandma when she comes to take care of us. It is full of "if this then that" and our usual behaviors so she can tell if anything is wrong.
Latte
Those instructions seem very clear. I don't think he should have any problems. If he knows what's good for him...
EG
The Beins LEFT YOU for a few days? Ack! They better have lots of treats for you when the return!
Skeeter and LC
Well, the only thing we can think of is that the litter boxes must be immediately attended to as soon as there is any output.
Luf, Us
Those are excellent instructions!
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